How to talk to your partner about infertility

When you think about the future, infertility usually doesn’t come to mind. When you make the choice to commit to someone, and you talk about getting married, buying a house or having children, do you also have the “infertility talk?”

Couples may not even know they are infertile. The topic of infertility may not come up until you have been trying to conceive for 12 months or more. One of the greatest fears facing infertility is disappointing your partner. The key is knowing what steps to take to have a healthy, open, and honest conversation.

The best tips I can offer are: focus on each other, go on infertility free dates, do not keep secrets, make an agreement on how far you will go, and talk!

Infertility stress can kill the romance. There would be weeks where I would only focus on a schedule. There is nothing worse than your husband flying home for the weekend from a work trip and you have to make the ovulation calendar the priority.

I believe the blame game comes into many infertile relationships. Who’s fault is it? You don’t have control over male or female infertility factors. Its good to be honest in your opinions. Talk about the pros, the cons, and the costs. It can be easy to feel bitter and have resentment towards your partner. Depending how long your journey is, feelings may change over time. Make sure you over communicate and stay connected to each other.

Focus on yourselves and be kind to each other. Find an outlet for your emotions. Take a break!! Take a mind off your fertility issues. Find ways to love and support your partner. Infertility is half agony, and half hope. For better or for worse, you can get through it–together.

Published by

The Infertility Doula

I am a infertile woman with no biological children. My infertility stems from endometriosis and adenomyosis. I work and live in Duluth, Minnesota. I am married with five dogs and have an adult stepdaughter.

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